From Dr. Drampton’s treatise on parapsychosocial
phenomena in stuffed animals
“Cycle Super Highway” is a term used to describe a state of being attained by stuffed animals that are on the edge of consciousness, but not yet in the realm of sentience.
It was coined by Whistleford Barnwrangler in 1898 in a controversial study involving the transplanting of stuffing from botched taxidermy experiments into toy animals which were then unknowingly sold to the public. A scandal ensued when several parents reported erratic and obsessive behaviour in their children, the most notable example being that of a 12-year old boy who stole a penny farthing and attempted to cycle away with his stuffed bear Chandler stapled to his forehead, before being apprehended in the middle of a local highway while yelling “I’M FCKING JESUS [sic]”. He was committed to Bedlam for several months, and strangely enough the stuffed bear disappeared shortly afterwards and was never recovered.
The experiments of Prof. Barnwrangler, then chair of Ursaginatology at Coddle-upon-Twee University were halted on ethical grounds and he was ousted from academia entirely, spending the rest of his days as a miniature-used boat salesman before eventually being arrested for selling stolen laudanum to sheep near what is now the A40 bypass near High Wycombe.